It's time to lay 2007 and back 2008 and that means New Year Resolutions. Rather than cover sensible resolutions - which go by the way-side quicker than a ten team acca - I thought I'd take a sideways look on the world of betting and suggest ten ways to guarantee losing money in 2008. You'll probably recognise a few of these! If you do, it could be time for a re-think on your betting strategy for the New Year.
1. Bet big and always more than you can afford to lose. This is the most efficient way of all to get rid of all your unwanted cash. Gamble with the rent / mortgage payment, the grocery money, or the kids school fees. Risking more than you can afford to lose will clear all those debts in no time - won't it?
2. Throw good money after bad. You know, keep upping the size of your bets. Progressive betting systems are the most effective way to the poor house. If you think doubling up is a sure fire way to get even after a losing streak, or doubling up to get a bigger win you may run into trouble in knowing when to stop. The complete loss of betting bank is usually the surest sign so you do get help. If you start thinking there is no point in winning a tenner when you could win a hundred or even a thousand quid it's an indication that you have a problem with gambling. What the hell, it's Christmas.
3. Betting on a whim or a hunch. You can feel it in your water can't you? Today is going to be your day. You're going to up your stakes and lump on, let's see now, say Derby to beat Blackburn - they're due a win aren't they? If you feel like you're 'due' a winning day, increase the size of your bets. Let's face it the last time you had that feeling it came true didn't it?
4. Lay lots of ante-post and accumulator bets. They come in from time to time don't they? Bound to happen again. Small stake, big return bets are seductive but are the best way to lighten your pocket and subsequently line the pockets of bookmakers and layers on Exchanges. If you are the type to lay a regular five-timer acca on the footy you are the sort of person that bookmakers love. It's you, after all, that guarantees their handsome profits.
5. Gamble when drunk. Needs no explanation. It just makes sense. Until you wake up the next day. You log into your betting account and see you have wiped out your betting bank. Oh well, you had a good time.
6. Pay for advice from internet 'experts' with claims of guaranteed profits. It will probably be called 'operation easy win' or 'sports betting for winners'. And you're a winner aren't you? There's loads of 'secret' winning punters out there who have left their jobs because they can earn fifty grand a year for only one hours work per day. Loopholes abound you see and you're not bright enough to work them out so hand over your money because that's the best way to make serious cash. Go ahead, they're experts and they've back tested their research so it's bound to work in the future. Didn't go as planned? That's a shame cos' they pinky promised didn't they?
7. Research is for sissies so don't waste your time. You don't need advice from anybody. Trust me. You know what you're doing so get lumpy. Expert opinion with a bit of background research to qualify your confidence in a bet? You don't need it. You're a natural.
8. Shout about the size of your bets down the pub. Ladies love it. You must have money if you can afford to bet big. Trouble is, the type of person who shouts about their betting prowess and sure things that can't fail to win are generally suffering from low self esteem which will be a lot lower when they start losing big too. Do it. It beats buying a big engined soft top.
9. Convince yourself you'll get it right eventually. It's only a losing streak. You'll come good. You know too much. You've won before. You can beat the spread or over-round because you're you. Keep on betting until you're broke and your wife leaves you to go out with your neighbour - and he doesn't even gamble. You don't want to be a wimp after all, do you? Upping your stakes might help.
10. Lucky rabbits foot. You're a lucky guy. Remember that time you won a box of Turkish delight in the village hall raffle after throwing salt over your shoulder? Always have been lucky. Just as long as you wear your lucky pants / socks (Delete as appropriate). Being superstitious is a sure fire way to build the betting bank. You're a Gemini, your favourite player's a Gemini he's bound to be first goal scorer today. Put the mortgage on it. And if that fails you can always chase your bets.
Happy New Year and Good luck for 2008!
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